Information, But Dumber, Louder, and Wetter

Apparently it is some sort of time-honored ritual to make your meteorologist sacrifice themselves to the optics gods…but enough is enough.

Screen grab of CBS3 Philadelphia covering the controversy during Hurricane Florence where Weather Channel reporter Mike Seidel was filmed struggling to keep his balance as he reports in Wilmington, North Carolina while others walked calmly behind him in 2018.

Imagine, if you will, if we had modern media in the age of ancient Greek mythology.

Daedalus, industrial Athenian MacGyver that he was, has fashioned two pairs of wings to escape Crete. He tests out one pair and gives the other to his son, Icarus, with a warning to hold the middle path between the sun and the sea, not getting to close to either. Icarus, of course, gets all up in his giddy feels at being able to fly, flashes his dad deuces, and posts “YOLO” on his Instagram story before melting the wax from flying too close to the sun. Thus wingless, Icarus falls from the sky and into the sea, perishing in the process and with the indignity of not having recorded it so it would go viral. Daedalus mourns his beloved but fatally stupid son, but is annoyed when the media shows up. Having missed the money shot, the intrepid Rapid Response Team from CNN (Cretan News Network) decides to add a little background and sizzle to the standup by having one reporter report with a dramatic shot of the coastline of Crete, while another flies just high enough to partially melt the wings, and yet another flies just low enough to get…