A Not-So-Minor Issue of Distinguishing Rain From Territorial Urine Markings
The “massive election fraud” case has been heard, both in court and by the American people, and been found wanting. Laughably wanting.

There are important subtleties to knowing when one is getting wet from the rain, and when one being relieved upon by a person loudly pretending that it is only rain. This knowledge is so important, in fact, that the old saying “Don’t pee on my leg/back/whatever and tell me it’s raining” has traditionally been the final warning and last available exit in a dispute before things get truly heated. The old timers understood that while you tolerated the rain, there was no tolerance for malicious interpersonal tinkling under the guise of precipitation.
But why would unsavory piddlers seek to wee upon normal, salt-of-the-earth folks in the first place?
There is, of course, the dominance of such an act, of exerting a humiliating degree of control often rising to the level of fetish. But there is also the more instinctual, animalistic quality of marking territory. Spray marking is multi-functional in marking one’s territory, but the main point is to get a response from others: Potential mates respond, rivals respond, allies respond. That response shows itself in a Flehmen Response, which varies in different animals but usually involves a bearing of teeth and other posturing that, while looking menacing and aggressive, is also a function of the animal trying get its sensory ability and brain to link up:
The Flehmen Response is supposed to help move compounds such as pheromones, hormones, and others into the vomeronasal organ. The vomeronasal organ, or VNO, is a neat little structure that sits under the floor of the nasal cavity. Most animals have this, and humans seem to have a vestigial (functionless) one. In the horse access to the VNO is from a duct in the nasal passages (in other species the opening is at the roof of the mouth).
The VNO’s interior lining is like a mucous membrane with a good deal of blood supply as well as sensory neurons. Once the little compounds reach the inside of the VNO, signals are sent to other parts of the brain. Now, even though all this seems like it should be part of the smell, or olfactory, system, actually the VNO sends signals on a completely different route called the “accessory olfactory system.”
The main olfactory system helps us recognize odors and say, “Oh, yes, that’s vanilla, and it makes me think of cookies.” But the accessory olfactory system doesn’t require the horse to actively recognize a smell or compound. Rather, it signals what are the oldest parts of the brain, the amygdala and hypothalamus, to stimulate more instinctive, emotional reactions or behaviors, such as fear or mating interest, and even elicit physiological changes.
Stimulating fear or mating interest is very on brand for American politics in the Year of Our Lord 2020. Scaring folks into action, or trying to reproduce your political philosophy in others, seems to be the modus operandi. So as the Trump campaign continues to micturate all over all fact, logic, and reason in response to the 2020 election, let’s be honest as to the reasons why: this election fraud narrative is territorial pissing. Coming from the folks constantly claiming “the storm” is coming, the warmth and smell should clue us into the fact this isn’t rain they are brining.
The biggest indication that this rain shower is anything but natural is the unserious efforts of Team Trump. The legal triumvirate of Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and Jenna Ellis is not the “Elite strike force team” laughably claimed in a recent presser, but rather the gathering of two has-beens and a never-was. Rudy, who was once a legitimately noted prosecutor before becoming mayor of NYC, was last in a courtroom as lead counsel during the Bush administration — George Herbert Walker Bush, that is. Sidney Powell has a distinguished career as both a prosecutor and appellate lawyer, but anyone paying attention would notice that for the last couple of years her main occupation has been the defense of Recep Erdoğan employee Michael Flynn and such a deep immersion into conspiracy theories and QAnon circles that she can no longer can tell which way is up. Then there is Jenna Ellis, who, in the short span of 4 years, has gone from calling Trump an idiot, to defending him to her own career and reputation’s death, to publicly commenting on Frank Luntz’s manhood.
Ellis’s history gives away the game. Writing in 2016, she said:
“I could spend a full-time job just responding to the ridiculously illogical, inconsistent, and blatantly stupid arguments supporting Trump,” she wrote in March 2016. “But here’s the thing: his supporters DON’T CARE about facts or logic. They aren’t seeking truth. Trump probably could shoot someone in the middle of NYC and not lose support. And this is the cumulative reason why this nation is in such terrible shape: We don’t have truth seekers; we have narcissists.”
But by this past Wednesday, she responded to those comments thusly:
It’s no secret that I did not support Donald Trump early in the primary process in 2015, like many others who didn’t know him, and I’ve always been straightforward with my opinions and I’ve always admitted when my opinion changes. I am glad to have learned that I was completely wrong about Trump back then and I’ve said that over and over publicly, as I saw him keeping his promises, and then eventually getting to know him personally. I appreciate (CNN’s) KFILE showing clearly through past statements that I think for myself, and that my mind was changed based on fact and personal knowledge. President Trump is a sincere Christian, the best president in modern history, and made and kept his promises to the American people. I am proud to stand with him and his goals for the future of this country and all of its citizens.
Call me cynical, but I suspect having known the truth in 2016, otherwise unknown Jenna Ellis, Esq., saw the money train leaving the station and decided to jump on. But she didn’t stop to think about where those tracks might lead. So here she is, third chair for the Giuliani, Powell, and Ellis clown show that is currently being laughed out of every courtroom they enter. To say no self-respecting lawyer would touch this is an understatement. Rudy utterly embarrassed himself in open court, and just in case anyone doubted it, the Republican-approved judge ordered the audio publicly released while writing an opinion that even folks who don’t read legalese can tell is scathing:
In this action, the Trump Campaign and the Individual Plaintiffs (collectively, the “Plaintiffs”) seek to discard millions of votes legally cast by Pennsylvanians from all corners — from Greene County to Pike County, and everywhere in between. In other words, Plaintiffs ask this Court to disenfranchise almost seven million voters. This Court has been unable to find any case in which a plaintiff has sought such a drastic remedy in the contest of an election, in terms of the sheer volume of votes asked to be invalidated. One might expect that when seeking such a startling outcome, a plaintiff would come formidably armed with compelling legal arguments and factual proof of rampant corruption, such that this Court would have no option but to regrettably grant the proposed injunctive relief despite the impact it would have on such a large group of citizens. That has not happened. Instead, this Court has been presented with strained legal arguments without merit and speculative accusations, unpled in the operative complaint and unsupported by evidence. In the United States of America, this cannot justify the disenfranchisement of a single voter, let alone all the voters of its sixth most populated state. Our people, laws, and institutions demand more. At bottom, Plaintiffs have failed to meet their burden to state a claim upon which relief may be granted. Therefore, I grant Defendants’ motions and dismiss Plaintiffs’ action with prejudice.
That is the “Introduction” portion of the 37-page ruling, and it gets less gentle from there.
The other lawsuits are going just as well or even worse. Not to be out down by the masterclass in buffoonery Giuliani, Powell, and Ellis were putting on, another Trump “celebrity” lawyer in the person of Lin Wood managed to file an affidavit about voter fraud in Michigan citing municipalities that where not only in Wayne County of the great state of Michigan, but were actually located in Minnesota. Beyond the courtroom, trying to threaten the Georgia Secretary of State resulted in him telling the Trump faithful to stick it as he oversaw a recount of the Peach State that confirmed a relatively comfortable Biden win. Somewhat lost in the recount to Team Trump was that if there was malfeasance in the Dominion vote counting system it would have showed up as a discrepancies in the hand recount. One could guess how that turned out, or you could just note the reaction, or lack thereof to Trump once again not winning Georgia. Powell, not taking this well, took to the airwaves of OANN to insist her coming legal reckoning would be “Biblical” and insinuating that anyone not on board with her forthcoming victory, up to and including Republican Governor of Georgia Brain Kemp, was paid off by Dominion and other deep state forces, a rant so far off the deep end that Giuliani and Ellis decided to break up the self-proclaimed elite strike force:
Oh well, they will always have the famous presser where Ellis declared them the elite strike force as Rudy’s hair dye ran down his jowls and Powell ranted and raved about Hugo Chavez’s influence, and George Soros, and communists, and evidence that they really truly had but it was too dangerous to reveal just yet, and Wayne County, and observers, and…
You know what, to hell with this.
If you need it explained to you in such minute, point-by-point detail that these people are Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs, you have a Biblical “you” problem. They are not bringing facts, they are not working to better the system and laws to uphold truth, justice, and the American way, and they sure don’t care about anything other than what they want. Giuliani, Powell, Ellis, and others on behalf of Donald Trump are peeing all down the leg of America, and claiming it is rain. They are doing it expressly to see what the reaction will be. They know they can’t win, but they want to get that Flehmen Response out of people. The folks who want to fight and oppose them just fuel their victimhood and political martyrdom for the forthcoming Lost Cause of Trump. The folks who kowtow to this lunacy show they can be steamrolled again and again. Most importantly, all this territorial whizzing will gather the folks who can help propagate their variant of Trumpism into a continuing base of support and funding. Those who go along with this nonsense are true believers in every sense of the term. Meaning they will gladly pay for the privilege of having their leg discharged upon.
To hell with trinity of idiocy that is Giuliani, Powell, and Ellis…and anyone else going along with this charade. It is not the American people’s responsibility to scratch the insane itches of unworthy grifters. You want the American people to hear you out? Fine. You want to bring court cases? Great. That is your right. But after 30 plus court cases and counting, and a media barrage that doesn’t match what you are alleging in filings and after having the entire legal community laughing at your ineptness, your right to be heard in the arena of ideas has to be further justified. The “massive election fraud” case has been heard, both in court and by the American people, and been found wanting. Laughably wanting. Those true believers who want to spew their rancid scent all over the place, hoping to stake out a permanent habitat for themselves and like-minded believers to gather in fear and breed the next generation of conspiracy theorists, should be called out for what they’re doing. This is marking out territory that doesn’t have to conform to laws, or logic, or even the rest of civilized American society because the truth is unacceptable to them and the reality too hard. They can prattle on and on about the forthcoming “storm” but really all they are doing is masturbatory self-affirming nonsense. Fire hosing that nonsense over as wide an area as possible doesn’t make it any more so. It just makes everyone a whole bunch wetter. And smellier.
And it sure as hell ain’t rain.
Originally published at https://ordinary-times.com on November 22, 2020.