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A Not-So-Minor Issue of Distinguishing Rain From Territorial Urine Markings

The “massive election fraud” case has been heard, both in court and by the American people, and been found wanting. Laughably wanting.

Andrew Donaldson
9 min readNov 22, 2020
Arlington National Cemetery 15 December 2018 Official White House Photo by Joyce N. Boghosian) [Public Domain]

There are important subtleties to knowing when one is getting wet from the rain, and when one being relieved upon by a person loudly pretending that it is only rain. This knowledge is so important, in fact, that the old saying “Don’t pee on my leg/back/whatever and tell me it’s raining” has traditionally been the final warning and last available exit in a dispute before things get truly heated. The old timers understood that while you tolerated the rain, there was no tolerance for malicious interpersonal tinkling under the guise of precipitation.

But why would unsavory piddlers seek to wee upon normal, salt-of-the-earth folks in the first place?

There is, of course, the dominance of such an act, of exerting a humiliating degree of control often rising to the level of fetish. But there is also the more instinctual, animalistic quality of marking territory. Spray marking is multi-functional in marking one’s territory, but the main point is to get a response from others: Potential mates respond, rivals respond, allies respond. That response shows…

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Andrew Donaldson
Andrew Donaldson

Written by Andrew Donaldson

Writer. Mountaineer diaspora. Veteran. Managing Editor @ordinarytimemag on culture & politics, food writing @yonderandhome, Host @heardtellshow & other media

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